Yule feel much finer with these Christmas one liners. No holiday blahs with these clever ha-ha's. Don't forget to send us milk and cookies. If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents. Tis the season to awkwardly walk by someone ringing a bell.
Santa One-Liners - Funny English Jokes
It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with? One Christmas, Joe and Peter built a skating rink in the middle of a field. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it.
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110 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive one-liners
We all need a mood booster once in a while. These one liners will make any conversation with anyone more lively. Short and sweet.
Oh come on, you can admit it. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. But share them we must, because there's something about repeating raunchy jokes that make us feel more alive.